Christmas In Mexico

"The Magic of Christmas is not in the presents, but in His Presence."

I'm having a great opportunity to spend Christmas in Mexico with my sisters and parents. Lexie, Grant and Ellie didn't come this year because they are in Idaho Falls with Grant's family. This is what they do every Christmas. They went to the Ricks' house in Idaho and they will come here next year. I am sad they're not here right now, but I'm having a great time with Nina, Andrew, Breana and my parents.

When I was little, I used to think Christmas was about presents and Santa Claus but when I grew older, I learned from my mom that "Christmas means a little more." It's about the Savior because it's the time we celebrate His Birth, even though he was born in Easter. In my mom's family, Christmas was about the Savior her whole life. If you think of the word Christmas a little more, it means "More of Christ."

"It's not about your scars. It's all about your heart."

~Mindy Gledhill~

This was kind of a sad Christmas for me because I'm not sure if my cousins had changed their thoughts of me or learned from their mistakes. When I saw them at the Ward's Annual Reindeer Run, they seemed excited to see me, but I was uncomfortable when I walked with them even though they wanted me to join them. Maybe my heart is still hurting and it hasn't recovered all the way. Recovery is such a long process.

I heard that time heals all wounds, but wounds can leave scars. Scars that will remind us of our traumas, sorrows, and pains. I was left scars my whole life even though they couldn't really be seen by other people. I try to pray for God's comfort and support to help me let go, forgive and move on. It's hard to tell myself that I'm not a victim, but I sometimes feel like I am because I was bullied and ignored by my cousins and other people who couldn't see past my differences and see me as a human being.

My mom is a wise woman. She's been through the same thing with her in-laws because of the different person she is. I don't really know how she handles it but from what she told me, it's better to be kind and loving than to be bitter and hateful. She taught me and my sisters the same thing and we listened to her.

"Nature holds the key to our aesthetic, intellectual, cognitive, and even spiritual satisfaction."

~E. O. Wilson~

This afternoon, I took the time to go outside and sketch, plus have some conversation with nature. I laid down on the new trampoline we got for Christmas, closed my eyes and relaxed. Peace came to my mind. I listened to Mother Nature; wind was blowing; dogs were wandering around and making noises, not loud ones though; leaves were rustling and cars were driving by. Cars are not really my favorite to listen to in nature, but the rest were good.

It was a beautiful visit. I imagined myself lying on the grass, surrounded by everything of nature; trees, animals and a warm weather. I was in Paradise, the Garden of Eden.